York RI Women: A tale of two Prides
To introduce our new website, we are running a series of blog posts from our players exploring what being part of York RI Women’s Rugby means to them. Our 22/23 team manager Cat Tottie discusses how York RI Women has made an impact on her life…
Rugby found me at one of the worst times in my life. My job as a frontline worker had burned me out - work was exhausting and depressing, I would come home and lie on my bed for the rest of the evening, every evening. My social circle had shrunk, friends moved away and I was too overwhelmed to make more. I was unfit and unmotivated by exercise. I was crying out for change, aware things couldn’t stay how they were but at a loss for where to start.
At York Pride 2019, the change I needed appeared unexpectedly. I was working a stall in the pouring rain - anyone who was there will remember it didn’t stop all day and I was borderline hyperthermic by the time the parade arrived. I was on the verge of losing it altogether when two gals in rugby kit popped up and asked if anyone wanted to try a team sport. Despite never having thrown a ball in my life, I took a flyer and that was that. I sheepishly turned up to training the following Tuesday - and quickly rugby took over my life.
Suddenly I was surrounded by kind, interesting and interested people who were on my side no matter what. In those first few weeks I was welcomed with open arms by a group of people I didn’t realise would become my best friends. The two gals who recruited me are now a close friend and a former housemate; I’ve been to weddings, baby showers, holidays and more all with people who started out as strangers on a muddy field in Acomb.
Rugby has radically changed how I feel about myself. As someone who had always been tall, broad, and heavy, my relationship with my body and with exercise had always been difficult. But on the pitch, the parts of me I had previously loathed were suddenly my strengths. Who cared if I was heavy - it meant I could push hard and defend my team. Broadness meant power. It’s corny, but rugby truly transformed how I live inside my body. Now I exercise because I want to, not because I have to. Having games to work towards gives me the motivation to train that bit harder, and I eat to nourish my body and build the muscles I need to make an impact on pitch.
I love getting out on pitch, but it’s never really been about that. It’s dancing to Britney in the clubhouse with the whole club singing along. It’s bursting into tears at training and being instantly surrounded by love. It’s the constant notifications from the world’s liveliest group chat. It’s celebrating with your friends whether you’re winning or losing, and playing just for the joy of getting muddy.
This year at Pride, I marched shoulder to shoulder with my team, with the Templars, and with our whole club. York RI’s motto is ‘One club for everyone’ - and we mean it. No matter who you are, there’s a spot on the rugby pitch for you. It’s hard to know where I’d be without York RI. So much of the last four years has stemmed from the club - friendships, jobs, my confidence in myself. No matter what comes next, I’ll always credit York RI for giving me space to grow and for surrounding me with some of the greatest people I’ve met.
Sometimes I regret that I didn’t play when I was younger, but I feel so lucky to have found a team and a club that offers a truly welcoming space for everybody. There’s no bullshit, no drama - just a bunch of people who work hard on pitch and look out for each other off it. If you’re thinking of playing rugby, do it. And if you need a team, I can recommend a good one…