How York RI helped me accept my neurodivergence
To introduce our new website, we are running a series of blog posts from our players exploring what being part of York RI Women’s Rugby means to them. Our 22/23 assistant manager Ann-Marie Norton talks about how the team have helped her manage her autism on and off the pitch…
I wasn’t diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) until I was 20. When I was younger I had always had to ‘suck it up’ and learned to cope when I felt overwhelmed. I got really good at hiding how hard I found certain situations, especially parties where my senses got overloaded.
When I first came to university and started playing rugby I hadn’t been diagnosed yet. I couldn’t explain why I would often not hear what my teammates were saying, even when they were SHOUTING it right next to me. It made playing in matches – which are loud and physical, two things I find overstimulating – mentally tiring. I would regularly end up on the wing to get a moment of quiet to gather myself (which, as a prop, isn’t ideal!).
When I did get my diagnosis, it wasn't a quick fix. I had gotten so good at pretending to be "normal" (in an effort to fit in) that my teammates at uni found it hard to believe that I'd struggled so much. They tried to support me, but they already had a picture of me, and old habits are hard to change. As a result, I never really accepted myself. My mental health suffered as I tried to continue being the dependable player everyone expected me to be.
After I graduated, I wanted to continue playing rugby, but I knew that I didn't want to hide anymore. I was really worried about joining a new team and whether I'd be accepted for me. However, I found my way to York RI and quickly realised just how kind and supportive a rugby team can be.
At York RI, I've found a safe place to learn about my neurodivergence. I'm not 100% there yet (there's still room to grow), but I'm on the road to recovery. On and off pitch, I’ve been able to remove the mask I'd been unconsciously wearing my whole life. My teammates and coaches listened to me when I explained how challenging I can find matches. They truly wanted to know how to help and support me!
York RI are a truly inclusive club and the whole team celebrates everyone's uniqueness on and off the pitch. I genuinely believe this is what rugby is meant to be about.
